Heart From the Start

For me, being queer isn't so much about who I love.

Or wait...no...that's exactly what it's about! Because gender isn't what prompts attraction for me, it's connection. 

Sometimes it catches people off guard when they learn I’m on the Rainbow Spectrum. Because I have two biological kids, I was with their dad practically for-evah, my partner is a dude (though totally not a bro). I used to tell myself, when I lived in Texas, that it just wasn’t all that relevant and that it was nobody’s business anyway. The reality was, I was scared that people would see me differently. That my students’ parents would come for my job or pull their kids out of my class (it happened to my friends). At the same time I felt guilty and conflicted not being completely honest with my students, especially since I was there actively supporting those who identified as LGBTQIA+. I hung pronouns on my door in the early 10s (heheh) and festooned my art classroom with the visible spectrum of color. I wore a Pride lanyard. Everyone knew The Rainbow Room was a safe place. We even wrote songs about it. But I, the grown-ass adult, didn’t feel safe to be totally myself there.

I came out over the course of a lot of years. I’m actually still in the process. As different groups of my people learned more about my identity, I started to realize exactly how lucky I am. I’m supported for who I am, not who I kiss. My family was immediately on my side, as they always have been. In fact one of my aunts smacked my shoulder and said, “$&!% Kirst, you scared me! I thought you were going to tell us something was wrong!”

So yeah…my family is amazing, my friends are amazing, and now that I’m in California I feel deeply myself in a way I never was in Texas or Alaska. BUT. I am painfully aware that isn’t everyone’s experience.

I know they pulled down the Pride flags on my old campus, reversing the progress we had made in visibility and acceptance. I know there are kids who hide their true selves so they won’t be disowned and kicked out of their homes. I know that the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline’s LGBTQ+ Youth Specialized Services program has been defunded. I know trans people are facing real danger and uncertainty because of emboldened bigotry. I know that there are people living in fear.

I will no longer downplay who I am or pretend it’s “not that relevant.” These are hard times for so many people, and while I personally feel deeply supported and uplifted, I also see my community being unfairly portrayed and hurt.

I believe that everyone who finds their way to WonderStump stands for goodness, equality, and basic human rights. And if anything I share ever makes you pause or feel uncomfortable, I only ask this: take a moment to wonder why. What part of us wishes someone else less joy, less safety, less love?

Because everything we create here — especially in difficult times — should be rooted in kindness, connection, and our shared humanity.

With love,
Kirsten ✨🌈✨